August passed beautifully in Lisbon with fabulous coastal weather, plenty of tourists and most Europeans on vacation. August also marked four years of us living in Portugal as American expats. We arrived, fresh and naive, to a customs strike at the Lisbon airport in August 2021. Wow, so much has changed since then!
I will start by saying that life is so much easier than it was that first August! It was overwhelming to land in Lisbon, 21 bags in tow and no idea where we would set up our life. While we had our visa, and technically, you should have a place to stay upon arrival, we used our lawyer to circumvent this requirement. We arrived in search of a new life!
Since then, we’ve set up a beautiful life. Is it perfect? Nope. There are ups and downs to living abroad, but overall we still really like it! Considering how many expats I see leaving Portugal, I count this as a victory.
How is everyone doing? Do the kids like living in Portugal? Do you think you’ll move back to the US someday? I get these questions each time I visit family or friends. Let’s dive in!
Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links. Opinions shared are my own, and I only endorse products I support. By clicking on any of the links below, I may get a small commission if you purchase at absolutely no additional charge to you. I appreciate your support.
Chapters
How the Family is Doing Living in Portugal
The Parents
As parents, we are doing great! We still work US hours, but have modified it to closer to a half day. We will log on around 5-6 a.m. MST and do some work, then do calls between 8 a.m.-2 p.m. MST. We then break for dinner (thankfully dinners are late in Portugal!) with our kids. We spend a little time with them, get them to bed and sometimes have to get back to work. However, we try to get to bed then as often as we can. The night shift gets old quickly.
This often means we are going back to bed after kids are off to school to catch a couple more hours of sleep. We wake up late in the morning, head to the gym and start work. We try to eat lunch with the kids at least once a week (perks of a two-hour lunch break at school!), walk on the beach at least once a week (my personal goal) and enjoy gorgeous views out our windows.
While we don’t have a ton of close friends in Portugal, we have many really good ones that we enjoy very much. I host an annual murder mystery party and Halloween bash. We live as Americans, because we are, and embrace that. I stopped trying to fit in and decided to just be me in Portugal.
However, we do slowly shift the longer we stay.
I’m much more sensitive to recycling than I ever was living in the US.
We now dislike US food while eating out… It tastes so much of sugar and salt.
We only like drinking sparkling water.
We like buying fresh, soft bread that goes stale the next day.
We have fallen deeply in love with the ocean.
All of these little shifts we like and we miss Portugal when we are away.
The Children
The children overall are thriving as well. Our oldest had the hardest time as she was 13 when we arrived in Portugal. School was tough, making friends was tough and the languages felt impossible.
However, today she loves her school (she is now doing British Curriculum at home through BGA Remote), is actively into music, has many friends and is considering higher education in Europe as well as the US. She’s had several times she wanted to move back to the US, especially for key moments she felt she was missing out on.
We’ve tried to make some of those key experiences still happen. For example, she had a friend take her to his senior prom in Utah and we lived it up! We had a local Portuguese friend make her prom dress (this woman did wedding dresses for clients in Dubai for many years) and it was spectacular. I loved her having this experience to share with her as it was also something I dreamed of being in my future.
We also took her on several trips to Utah (where we have a house and our own car) to get her drivers permit, take road trips for long hours and she just got her licence last month! These are special little moments that help her feel connected to the US, and I am very grateful we are able to do this.
Our younger children have all adapted well and feel right at home. They’ve made good friends. The older ones connect most with other expat kids while the two youngest are fully ingrained into the Portuguese crowds. I am NOT ingrained with other Portuguese parents, so that does hold them back a bit, but at school they have great friends and love it.
We are closer as a family because we live in Portugal, which I am not complaining about. I love that adversity bonds us in a way that we wouldn’t be otherwise. We still love being together and we still love to travel! We traveled full time for many years, which not only prepared us well to live abroad, but instilled a deep love of adventure.
What is the Current School Status for the Kids?
We’ve settled into a good spot with the kids! As I’ve mentioned before, all the kids started school in a Portuguese private school. This was super convenient to have them all go together! However, our oldest one only lasted a year. The bullying was too much, as well as the language.
The oldest then went to a public Portuguese school and also didn’t love this. Trying to tackle 9th grade in a foreign language, including chemistry, physics and history, was too much. She also had some personal struggles that made this impossible. We put her halfway through the second year into Brave Generation Academy. We love it!
This is a hybrid and online program in the British Curriculum and we love the flexibility. Since then, she has switched to the fully online version so that she can focus heavily on music, and she is quite happy with this set up!
Our second oldest made it two years in the private school, but ultimately left for the same reasons. He did a year in public school and loved it! He made really good friends. The education was really good.
However, our travel addiction ruined this! We were traveling enough that the teachers were threatening to fail him if we didn’t cool it. If you aren’t familiar with our travel addiction, as well as our travel for work, you’ll know that isn’t going to happen! We moved him to BGA as well and he is super happy with it.
Our middle child did four years in the private Portuguese school and was happy enough. However, he watched his older siblings and the flexibility of their school and wanted to try this for himself. This year he joined his older siblings at BGA and has loved it so far. He’s our most academic child and I think he will fly through the program. He loves riding the train with his older brother (they are in the same hub), being able to have school at home some days and being around mom and dad more during the day.
For our youngest two, I think they will happily stay in the Portuguese private school that they started with all through 9th grade! They were young enough when we arrived (4 and 6 years) that they have made great friends. Unlike in the US, classes stay the same each year and have the same teacher for 3-4 years at a time, so these groups are tight! This was part of the problem with our older kids trying to integrate.
They are very comfortable with Portuguese and I’ll probably have to push them to get more proficient in English! We plan to move them to BGA as well, at the latest in 10th grade.
Do We All Speak Portuguese Fluently?
Short answer: Yes! Long answer: We have different levels of fluency. Some people speak a few words of Italian and will tell you they speak Italian. This is a subjective definition of being fluent, but I do consider us fluent. We attend church every week in Portuguese, we give speeches and teach lessons, we have entire meals or events in Portuguese and we can communicate with each other in Portuguese. This typically happens when we are outside of Portugal and want to talk about something privately.
We still speak English with each other nearly 100% of the time. I tried hard in the beginning to motivate myself to speak Portuguese more at home, but it fell flat.
My husband didn’t want to and the kids were so tired after a full school day in Portuguese, they didn’t want to speak another word. We’ve never found a good groove for this, but we often have guests and will speak Portuguese with them for an entire meal.
Do We Plan to Move Back to the US?
At this point, no. We still may want to when our tax agreement expires with Portugal and we have to pay more taxes. However, we’ve thought about this too and are not sure we will leave even at that point. We still pay a fairly high tax bill in the US and we might want to eat the extra cost to keep enjoying Portugal.
However, we are very open to moving wherever God wants us to go, so I make no real plans of my own! We are on His plan and His timetable. I’m just here to enjoy Portugal as long as we are here. I know I will miss it deep in my soul if and when we leave. I am grateful every day to be where we are right now.
What Do We Miss the Most About Life in the US?
The same answer as I’ve said in years past: the people! That is now all that we miss, really. We don’t miss our house, our car or the food. We miss those we love and those that know us the best.
However, this ache eases with each passing year. It was intense in the beginning and I couldn’t wait for our visits to the US. Now, I am always happy to visit, but look forward to my return as well.
I don’t get a pit in my stomach about having to speak Portuguese. In fact, sometimes I don’t even realize I’m hearing Portuguese unless I am with a non-speaker! It’s quite cool.
I now think of the US like a really fun travel destination! I love to visit all our favorite pools, museums, movie theaters, jump parks and things while there.
I also do miss the holiday flair of the US. As the self-proclaimed Queen of Halloween in Portugal, it’s hilarious to see our home. We go all out on Halloween and Christmas, which is not typical at all. I miss all the haunted houses, lighted houses, etc of the holidays.
What’s Next For Us?
When it comes to living in Portugal, we are looking forward to a few things:
- We can start applying for both citizenship and long term residency next year at the five year mark. We will apply for both at the same time and see what comes through! It can take several years to get done.
- We would like to buy a property at some point, but probably will try and do an Airbnb instead of our main residence. We are in a large home, especially for Lisbon, and committing to that much house seems unwise. In five more years our family situation may look very different, so we don’t want to commit to a big house for now. Plus, trying to come up with 30% in cash is still not something we have!
- We want to continue to explore both Portugal and Europe more. Through the end of the year, we have planned trips to Southern Portugal, London and Bavaria. I love that we can do this!
Overall, we continue to be super happy where we are! Things get a bit easier all the time as we continue to learn how things work, where to get what we need and who can help us with what!
Additional Readings
Furnishing Your Family Home in Portugal – Where to Buy
Leave a Reply